It’s a chilly, rainy day here. A nice excuse to stay inside, burn my fall candles, and let a batch of chili simmer in the crockpot. My favorite season has officially arrived, fall; and I welcome it with open arms especially after experiencing a very hot summer since our move back south. Fall reminds me of everything pumpkin, soups in the crockpot, football on the weekends and the way the crisp air smells. I simply love everything about this season. This rainy day and talk of fall has me thinking about seasons and how I am in the midst of changing seasons as well.
My oldest turned 4 yesterday. We reminisced the night before about his birth as we scrolled through pictures from when he entered the world and his first few months. That was a new season for me, entering into Motherhood. A season I had longed for and dreamed of since as long as I can remember. Whenever someone asked me what did I want to be when I grow up, it was simple, a mama. My belly has rounded and expanded not just once, but three times now and in a few short weeks, I will experience the miracle of welcoming another life into this world. And I find myself in yet another new season, shifting from a mama of not only two but also three. And all those many years ago when people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grow up, I had no idea what it would truly be like to be a mama. How this season of life, this calling would sift me, humble me, and mold me in ways I never thought possible. There are so many days, I collapse into bed and think of all the ways I have failed as a mama. How I have raised my voice, how I have majored on the minors, and how instead of tenderly caring for their hearts, I have bruised them. But with each new morning, I am thankful that God’s grace is bigger than all my shortcomings as a mama and I still believe that my greatest calling, my greatest blessings are the two little faces that look up to me and the one that I am eagerly anticipating seeing for the first time.
If I have learned anything about motherhood thus far, it’s that it’s an ever-changing season. And with it we have to become flexible and moldable, allowing our ideals and expectations to become bendable and shifting. In a few short weeks, I will have to bend and shift some more as we welcome our third child. The way I have done things for the past two years as a mama of two will have to change and that’s not always easy for someone who doesn’t welcome change with open arms. There will be hard days, dark days and some days I will probably doubt my calling as a mama. But I am confident of this, there will be more joy, love, and blessings than I ever thought possible. A book that is at the top of my list and one that will be a must for this new season I am about to embark on is by Kristen Strong entitled Girl Meets Change (sounds perfect for me right?). I have read excerpts and in it she wisely suggests that perhaps the darkness that often accompanies change doesn’t mean we’ve been abandoned but means we’re being covered by God’s hand. I just love that, don’t you? And this, I will leave you with this because it was just what my heart needed on this rainy, fall day as I find myself on the cusp of change…
“What was true for Abram then is true for you today: if God is sending you to a new place, he’s sending you with a promise. Whether you experience transition under your feet, in your heart, or both, the Lord is bringing you to something new for the purpose of blessing you beyond anything you could ever dream for yourself. In the deepest parts of my soul, I know change is an absolute provision of God’s grace.” –Kristen Strong